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Xmas reflection

It was a maudlin christmas this year. I went to bed about 8pm on Xmas eve in a bleak mood and despite sleeping OK rose about 12 hours later in no better frame of mind, busying myself with gardening and cleaning until it was time to head out to the family. Much of the day I found myself on the verge of tears.

On consideration there may have been some underlying dealing-with-change process going on. This was the last Xmas at the farm my parents have had for nearly 20 years - quite likely the last time I will be out there at all. It was the first Xmas with more than one of my siblings absent. Probably we've done well to make it this far - when was the last time our parents managed Xmas with their sibs on consecutive years - not since they were younger than us I am sure (actually we found a photo of the last time at all on my father's side in an old album. The eldest of my cousins was just a few months old). I do not know if we will ever be all together at Xmas again - and since we don't tend to celebrate each other's occasions when we will ever all be together again except perhaps at significant times for our parents ... as they grow older.

I came nowhere near breaking even on presents but I didn't expect to. I could afford to be somewhat generous this year. I even managed to come up with something thoughtful for my parents.

Mostly this year it's been foodstuffs - and mostly home-baked biscuits - starting with a visit from a cookie ninja on Christmas-eve-eve and so on until waifs and strays. Youngest sister varied the trend with a gift-pack containing crackers, condiments and fudge. I shall be consuming slowly - this time of year always leads to overdoing the gluten.

Much of the afternoon was spent scanning photos from and old album and various material from a couple of family reunions, I now know significantly more about some of my family 3-4 generations back. Mind, that's starting from not very much at all.

There was an #AH alarm while I was on the way back into town - still 30 minutes out but someone was available to respond and whoever it was was gone anyway.

There weren't as many stragglers at Waifs and Strays as usual when I arrived, but it was pleasant to see people and wind down there.

Today I dropped in on two boardgaming sessions and between them managed two games of Seven Wonders (last, 1st equal with Leaders expansion) and Tongiaki (middle of the pack) which I enjoyed. I am still feeling quite exhausted but no rest for the responsible - tomorrow is a barbeque which I seem to be left organising.

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